To Be or To Do?

 

Which question, has troubled us since we were a child? What do you want to be when you grow up? isn't it? I always wanted to skip this question for a simple reason, I didn't have an answer. Then the parents started to answer for me, “He wants to be an engineer and then pursue IAS…I always saw my parents in amusement, When did I decide that?

 Most of us have gone through this situation numerous times. It is too late by the time we realize that the answer to the question. What we wanted to be was what our elders wanted us to. It was the burden of their unfulfilled dream which we carried. This is the reason why most people even after being in the best of the positions and companies, don’t seem content and happy with what they are. The dream they are living in is actually somebody else’s. They are under tremendous peer and social pressure to be somebody. This continues through a large part of his professional life as well.

The times have changed now and the roles have been switched, but the question hasn't changed. Now we ask the children, ‘What do you want to be when you grow up? and bang…comes the answer from the parents, Engineer, Doctor, CA, Pilot, etc. The child has the same confused expression on his face, he is wondering what are these elders talking about? his parents & elders want him to take up a profession, he can't even spell. In my opinion, we are putting our children in a spot by asking the wrong question.

 While it is understandable that the parents would like their children to have a great life, but in the process what they are doing is putting him in an alien space. As he grows he tries to be what he naturally does not want to be. He imitates and loses his originality and finally his purpose. He is simply doing something, which is not his inner calling. Most professional fatigues and boredom are a result of this. So what should we do?

 

Ask the right question:

The right question to ask will be “What do you want to do? or What do you like doing? Now imagine what kind of answers you will get, Eg. I like to play, I like to make things, I like to act, I like to dance, I like to sing, I like to paint, I like to study, I like to read. Here is where we shall discover their inner calling. This may sound too early if the kids are small, however, It would still be better than seeing the blank or confused faces of kids when we ask them, What do you want to be?

It is very much possible, that the child might lose interest in doing what he liked in the past, its ok, as its human nature to explore as they grow. As elders, our question should not change. Keep asking in a friendly and supportive tone, What do you want to do? or What do you like doing? you may find different answers now.

It is also possible that the child, after being grown up may get more confused as he is seeing his friends exploring and doing different stuff, yet I will recommend as elders, we must assume the role of mentor and help them explore more by asking the same question 'What do you want to do? with a thrust on "You". This process of asking the question should continue throughout, even with self.

 

To conclude, if we want our children to have a more content and fulfilling life, help them find their purpose. If they don't have one, help them find one by asking the question what do you want to do? Encourage him to 'Do' something worthwhile instead of chasing to 'Be' someone else. If we see the most successful people around, we will find, all of them wanted to do something worthwhile, and in the process, they all became bigger. The right purpose and objective with the amalgamation of the right process will make a difference. Help yourself your children, and friends, find their purpose today.